Anecdote... Jokes

Teacher: Ah Kau, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how
much would your father still have?
Ah Kau: $10.
Teacher: You don't know Maths.
Ah Kau: You don't know my father la!

Mother: David, come here.
David: coming, mum.
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David: But but but....I will only get my report card tomorrow ???
Mother: I know that, but I'm going abroad tomorrow so I'm scolding you now.

Father: Why did you fail your Mathematics Test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3 + 5 = 8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4 + 4 = 8. On Wednesday, she said 6 + 2 = 8. Next day she said 1 + 7 = 8...
If she can't make up her mind, how I know the right answer one ???

Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No la, mine is undying love only !!!

Man: How old is your father?
Boy: 12.
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He only became a father when my elder brother is born lo !!!

Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Cat" is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did you copy his?
Simon: No la, teacher. It's the same cat! Definately the story will be the same

Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I tell you she's no good!

Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: Batu Kurau, Sir.
Teacher: Which part?
Student: All of me ....

A boy came home from school with his exam results.
" What did you get?" asked his father.
" My marks are under water," said the boy.
" What do you mean 'under water'?"
" They are all below 'C' (sea) level !"

Why is sit up and sit down will end up with the same postition?

If vegetarian is person who only eat vegetable... than a humanitarian is a person who ....

Father: I want you to marry a girl of my choice

Son: "I will choose my own bride!"

Father: "But the girl is Bill Gate's daughter."

Son: "Well, in that case...ok"



wait... there some continuation.. be patient...

Next Father approaches Bill Gates.

Father: "I have a husband for your daughter."

Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"

Father: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."

Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok"


Still there is some part to conclude.. be patient..

the final part.....

Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Father: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."

President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"

Father: "But this young man is Bill Gate's son-in-law."

President: "Ah, in that case...ok"

LIFE BEFORE THE COMPUTER
An APPLICATION was for employment
A PROGRAM was a TV show
A CURSOR used profanity
A KEYBOARD was a piano!

Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3 ½ inch FLOPPY
You hope nobody found out!

COMPRESS was something you did to garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you UNZIPPED anything in public
You be in jail for a while!

LOG ON was adding wood to a fire
HARD DRIVE was along trip on the road
A MOUSE PAD was where a mouse lived
And a BACKUP happened to your commode

CUT – you did with a pocketknife
PASTE – you did with glue
A WEB was a spider’s home
And a VIRUS was the flu!

I hear nobody’s been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead!

The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender, for the following reasons:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they cause the problem.

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.